“WE DEBATE OURSELVES SO FIERCLEY,WE OFTEN FORGET BOTH PARTIES ARE ON THE SAME TEAM.”
By Tamara Brown
Forum Group: B. ECLECTIC MAGAZINE
Message Board : Mental Health
Date: Relevant
Time: Always
>>>Begin Chat>>>
Hello, OVERTHINKING HERE! (that one was bad) HELLO FRIENDS! (nope…try again) I HAVE ARRIVED EVRYBODY! (wayyyy too much…) – HI! - (I guess it will do).
How have you all been! Hope you are still needlessly and obsessively rethinking imaginary scenarios about how you could have “done better” in situations you had no control over! It’s been pretty hectic over here keeping my humans mind on literally everything at once, yet getting no actual work completed! I mean – WOW – their ability to be totally exhausted yet still fight themselves out of depression’s depths is truly admirable. I cannot wait to help them continue to get stronger in this way by piling on more unnecessary mental stress in the morning!
What have you been up to?
You’re Always On My Mind, (OVERTHINKING)
______________________________________
Hey, Improved Self-Awareness Checking In!
“Wow” is right! That’s a whole lot of energy being spiritually spent on things that are not bringing your human any hope or belief in a better future! Anyways, I’ve been doing just okay. I recently took a trip to Therapy Island (a challenging but worthwhile place to build a life), and I spent intentional time away from my phone and people to really do some internal investigation.
I never knew how hard it could be to both self-identify AND self-heal from unrecognized emotional harm… Knowing exactly where or who the feeling came from is one thing, but guessing? Not really sure what the root issue is? Feeling problematic or explosive in your reactions without a clear why, a clear path to an answer? Man, that’s the definition of feeling lost…and I was in that headspace for years. I had to educate myself, unlearn bad mental health habits, and be introduced to healthier ones in order to move forward and love myself better. It took time, but ultimately, I am at a healthier and happier place in life.
I would love to share some ideas with y’all!
You’ve Got It, (Improved Self-Awareness)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
hi. isolation here.
doing fine. been chilling. i don’t think people like being around me anymore. they’ve stopped inviting me to things. i decided to stop reaching out too. i was afraid to confirm my fears. i didn’t want to be right so i stay to myself now. never reach out first. (phone works both ways, right?) i think ill feel better being
alone. but i wish someone would reach out. i wish someone cared. i don’t know how to re-engage with my friends. i feel disappointed in myself. i want to reach out but I feel like I don’t know how to anymore. i hate being alone. i miss you guys a lot…
anyone else feel lonely?
wish we were closer, (isolation)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey Friends, Gentle Emotional-Regulation – is online,
It is very nice to meet everyone, my name is Gentle Emotional-Regulation, but you may call me GER for short. I champion - - - the space and grace - - - we give to ourselves - - - as we learn how to identify - - - our triggers and challenges - - - and learn to approach - - - - our inner voice and person - - - - with respect
and empathy. It saddens me to see so many struggle - - - with anxiety and racing emotions - - - on a near daily basis. If only they remembered they have the willpower to slow down their breath - - - - - inhale - - - - - exhale - - - - - inhale - - - - exhale - - - - - inhale - - - - - exhale - - - - - and look at all the options available for how to appropriately respond. I just started a new position at Patience Breathing Center as a breath-work coach and I hope to see some of you guys in my next group session.
Remember, it all starts with a single breath!
Be Well, (Gentle Emotional-Regulation aka GER)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hi Yall, Healthy Boundaries Coming In Hot,
Hey @isolation, I am truly sorry to hear you feel so alone and alienated in this world. Its 100% true that we can experience a strongly perceived lack of community in our personal world – especially if we have grown distant from our friends and other social connections. Intense anxiety, and sometimes even depression, can present themselves as our instinctive response to this situation.
It is easy to get trapped in the sense that we have no control over what “happens next,” but the truth is – we do. We all have agency over our life, and therefore the larger direction of where it leads. Creating healthy boundaries happens slowly, in bits and pieces, and it’s important to understand that is it always a dysfunctional journey at first. We try different puzzle pieces of emotion together until something fits correctly, and then we label that new threshold as a boundary. We reach a point where we decide what we want to no longer tolerate from ourselves and others. Maybe that looks like reaching out to your friends again, and maybe it looks like making new friends. Either way, decide for yourself what feels best!
It’s vital to living an emotionally balanced life.
Change Is Coming, (Healthy Boundaries)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ME-Complex Has Arrived!
GUYS! 911 Emergency Meeting!! All this talk about what’s going on in your lives is cute, but can we focus on ME for a moment? ME ME ME ME ME ME……I don’t care what anyone thinks…...ME ME ME ME ME ME ME…... and life is so unfair…....ME ME ME ME ME ME ME….and I simply don’t see how I am the problem…. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME…....obviously they don’t understand what I am trying to say……...ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME…...it just feels like no one listening to me... ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME…. and that was just Monday! Let me let you all what happened Tuesday…
Any advice for ME? Thanks!
Good Chat, (ME-Complex)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I Am Imagination Alley,
I appreciate the honesty of everyone here, and if I may, I’d like to share some of my own. Honestly, it frustrates me every time someone implies that a “better life” can be found thorough a simple mindset re- adjustment… I think it over-simplifies that obstacles some of us have to face to even create that world within our own minds. I’ve never seen the “better” you speak of working towards, and it is embarrassing to admit, but I don’t know that I would recognize it even if it came to me…
How are we expected to learn a new way, when we are surrounded by old and limiting beliefs… How do I convince myself to know I am worthy, when I’ve only ever heard the opposite preached over me and my future? I really want to believe – to have faith – but my reality is too expensive to live in delusion. I’m scared my life will always look this way, and I don’t trust that there’s a world out there that’s not plotting on my downfall. I want to, I just don’t know how to get there… I don’t want to be disappointed again by failed expectations. It just hurts too much.
Open to advice from anyone here…
Wishing On A Star, (Imagination Alley)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Introducing Mrs. Accountability,
Hello Chat. I come to you all from a place of profound clarity. I understand exactly how I got to this place in my life, and I take full responsibility for all of my decisions that lead me here – both good and bad – as well as the opportunities and consequences that came with them. I understand that my words and actions had an impact on others – both positively and negatively – and I now know that my experience of life is not the only one that exists. I respect each of you for coming here to share a small piece of your story, and I want you to know that you are right on time wherever you are in this season of your life. Trust yourself.
Finally, I encourage you to be delighted when thinking about the challenges ahead. Each one will teach you a valuable lesson and each victory is necessary to becoming your most authentic self.
We Are All With You, (Mrs. Accountability)
>>> End Chat>>>
The Internal Quest Between our Tendency to Hold On and Finding Freedom in the Wind
“Dear Dandelion,
I was inspired by You this morning. I admired the grace with which You bowed to the wind; Your delicate extensions gathering and stretching towards the Earth in quiet submission. I saw strands of feather-light seeds grip the base of Your flower, ever encouraged by the wind to be carried away from home… Away from familiarity, from comfort and into the unknown space of the universe where anything can happen. I watched as these seeds were gently lifted into the air, out of the chilled shadows, and disappeared into the warmth of the morning sun. As they took flight, I could not help but think… Dandelion, to ultimately fulfill Your purpose in life, You had to learn the art of letting go. You had to bow to the wind and trust that your seeds would fall on good land.
It was beautiful to see your Freedom.”
By Tamara Brown
There is a common, yet unsettling, sense of loss felt when we choose to let certain parts of ourselves go. Even if this release is ultimately for the betterment of ourselves and our relationships with others, we tend to feel confusion and uncertainty during the transition process itself. Letting go of the person we used to be forces us to confront ourselves in a painfully raw and excruciatingly truthful way.
We cannot simply stay ignorant to our own instincts – well… yes, we can – but knowing better forces us to question why we don’t choose to be better. That is where the true internal battle lies. Not in the question itself, but in the difficulty of acting on the answer we know to be correct.
There is an interesting sensation that arises when we choose to discover and step into an unknown part of our higher self – Fear. We become fearful of the unknown (loss of control), fearful about who we may lose along the way (loss of social status), and fearful of the person we may become through the process (loss of self/identity). These three areas: Control, Society, and Identity; make up a huge portion of our belief systems and serve as the foundation for our intrapersonal and external connections. When we become challenged in any one of these areas, or asked to make significant change, it is easy to reject the newness and revert to our same habitual patterns. Regardless if these patterns are helpful or harmful to us, people find comfort in things that feel familiar and making the decision to change usually comes with both beautiful and challenging consequences.
Control is one of the areas we try to hold onto with dear life, and we do not give it up easily to anyone – not even ourselves. Being in control of your surroundings and practicing the art of letting go are essentially opposite actions, and to do one you have to release the power of the other. When we release our power of control, we tend to feel helpless, like we are now at the mercy of life and no longer have a say in what happens to us. There likely is some level of truth to this; however, it does not explicitly mean that that our lives will become worse. Maybe, just maybe, there is a level of freedom achieved when we can release our own unfulfilled (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations of ourselves and others. What could happen if we were not so trapped in our own minds of what “should” be, and instead we were able to find gratefulness for what simply is? Would a perspective shift of this volume create more chaos, or perhaps would it instead lead us to an untapped level of peace.
Our success and growth potential often have a direct correlation with the environments we are surrounded by. Our family, friends, living situations, and career all play important roles in our lives. Growth happens in many ways, and it often involves some variation within your social circle or close friendships. Navigating this change can be very stressful for any individual and it can sometimes feel impossible to please everyone while staying true to the person you are trying to become. Despite our reluctance to admit it… not everyone can go with us into the next season of our lives. This truth is not meant to be taken personally, but often it can and will be, and learning how to navigate through our own personal guilt can be a tricky road. Our circles don’t necessarily need to be large to have a big impact, and sometimes too many voices can have a negative impact on our own internal dialogue. It takes a certain courage to distance yourself from relationships that no longer serve you in positive ways, and unfortunately it will be uncomfortable first before you learn to find peace with the decision. Be patient with yourself.
Our greatest journey through life happens internally as we try to define, and re-define ourselves and discover “who we are”. It is extremely important to have a grounded sense of self; however, it is equally important to know when it is necessary to shed parts of yourself that no longer benefit you and no longer guide you towards your ambitions and dreams. Admitting to ourselves that we need to evolve into something new is very difficult, partly because it requires recognizing that something is not working for you any longer, and partly because you are now challenged to do and act differently than how you have before. Many times, there is a level of grief associated with a change of identity. We mourn who we used to be, and we can become afraid of the person we will become because they are unknown to us.
Most people would rather stay in a place, physically or mentally, where they are able to predict their own actions and when we are asked to elevate ourselves to a higher version – we must acknowledge that failure is an unavoidable part of the formula. To become this higher version of ourselves, we are asked to embrace the idea of failure, understanding that mistakes are necessary to learn new lessons. Failure itself is neither good nor bad, but how we choose to respond to our mistakes says much more about our character and who we are. The version of yourself that you have not met yet will 100% be different than who you are today, but that person will have the wisdom, the patience, the empathy, and the drive to do what you cannot. They are not here to harm you, but to help you become the person you are meant to be.
Much like the Dandelion, we must embrace the act of letting go and move forward with confidence that it will change us for the better. To believe beyond a doubt there is greatness awaiting us, and to develop the courage and spirit to chase it into the unknown. If we can learn to bow to our challenges, let go of our past, and find peace in the part of us left behind… then we will truly be able to find freedom in the wind. - - -